Christmas writings inspired by Gentle Giant

Some Christmas writings inspired by Gentle Giant.

A Gentle Christmas Tale

- By Patrick Little, 20 December 1996

Twas the night before Christmas, and All Through the Night
Not a carol was playing... twas "Edge of Twilight"
The cymbals crashed and riffs were a-plenty
Harmonies, dissonance, and the changes were many
By the chimney my Giant CDs were arranged
Not in wood, or in steel, but in plastic... how strange!
Not by year, or by number, or alphabetized
Twas by favorite cover, and what a surprise...
I couldn't decide which one I preferred
Roger Dean or the one that was jarred
And then on the roof arose such a thump
Like a Giant had landed and sat on his rump
I trembled with fear, and terror I fought
Then I said "Screw it, I'll peek, Why Not!"
Just then a big boot came through the door
"Damn chimney's too small" I heard the Giant roar
He looked kinda Gentle, but I was no Foole
He yelled "Outta my way, my name's Pantagruel"
Though he was a Giant and as big as a hill
He stepped with care, and the stockings he filled!
With imports and t-shirts and recordings live
And then he pulled out... Proclamation #5!!!
I was stunned as he turned and broke through the wall
I cried "Thank You"; he said twas "Nothing At All"
And he hopped to the roof, and got on his sled
Called to the drivers, and away they sped
"On Shulman, on Shulman, on Shulman and Green..."
He turned up the player, and cranked "The Queen"
As he sped outta sight I started to cry
But he said "Don't worry, It's Only Goodbye"
"Think of Me With Kindness," he said with a wink
"I've been Working All Day, and it's time for a drink!!!"

The Twelve Days of Gentle Giant

- By Glenn Leonard, 24 December 2001

On the first day of xmas the giant gave to me
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

On the second day of xmas the giant gave to me
Two Glass Houses and
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

On the third day of xmas the giant gave to me
Three Friends a-playing
Two Glass Houses and
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

On the fourth day of xmas the giant gave to me
Four Little Brown Bags
Three Friends a-playing
Two Glass Houses and
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

On the fifth day of xmas the giant gave to me
Five Cogs in Cogs
Four Little Brown Bags
Three Friends a-playing
Two Glass Houses and
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

On the sixth day of xmas the giant gave to me
Six Boys in the Band
Five Cogs in Cogs
Four Little Brown Bags
Three Friends a-playing
Two Glass Houses and
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

On the seventh day of xmas the giant gave to me
Seven Free Hands (?)
Six Boys in the Band
Five Cogs in Cogs
Four Little Brown Bags
Three Friends a-playing
Two Glass Houses and
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

On the eighth day of xmas the giant gave to me
Eight Tentacles
Seven Free Hands (?)
Six Boys in the Band
Five Cogs in Cogs
Four Little Brown Bags
Three Friends a-playing
Two Glass Houses and
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

On the ninth day of xmas the giant gave to me
Nine Black Cats
Eight Tentacles
Seven Free Hands (?)
Six Boys in the Band
Five Cogs in Cogs
Four Little Brown Bags
Three Friends a-playing
Two Glass Houses and
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

On the tenth day of xmas the giant gave to me
Ten Rock Climbers (woo-hoo!)
Nine Black Cats
Eight Tentacles
Seven Free Hands (?)
Six Boys in the Band
Five Cogs in Cogs
Four Little Brown Bags
Three Friends a-playing
Two Glass Houses and
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

On the eleventh day of xmas the giant gave to me
Eleven Words From The Wise
Ten Rock Climbers (woo-hoo!)
Nine Black Cats
Eight Tentacles
Seven Free Hands (?)
Six Boys in the Band
Five Cogs in Cogs
Four Little Brown Bags
Three Friends a-playing
Two Glass Houses and
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

On the twelfth day of xmas the giant gave to me
Nothing At All
Hm, this Giant Alucard does have Funny Ways so, Why Not?
**Isn't It Quiet And Cold?**

Eleven Words From The Wise
Ten Rock Climbers (woo-hoo!)
Nine Black Cats
Eight Tentacles
Seven Free Hands (?)
Six Boys in the Band
Five Cogs in Cogs
Four Little Brown Bags
Three Friends a-playing
Two Glass Houses and
A Missing Piece to the puzzle

GGawd, that was fun!

Twas the Night Before Christmas

- By Dan L, 23 December 2002

This year's version...with apologies to either Clement Clarke Moore or Major Henry Livingston Jr.

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
The only thing stirring was my optical mouse.
The screensaver was installed on the PC with care
In hopes that St. Nick would just sit down and stare.

The kids in a trance from their new DVDs
Had visions of video games and CDs.
The wife in her sweatshirt, and me in the buff
Lay dreaming of winning the lottery and stuff.

When out in the yard I heard such a racket
I called for the dogs so that they could attack it.
Away to the window I stumbled and fell
Ripped at the curtain and cried "What the hell!"

The moon almost half and still very bright
Cast shadows in the front yard that night.
When what to my beer-blurry eyes should appear
But a miniature prog band...complete with their gear!

With a bearded old dude, so lively and excited
I knew in a flash it must be Gentle Giant!!!
More rapid than Frippian remasters they came
We whistled, we shouted, we called them by name.

Now Derek! Now Phil! Now Raymond and Kerry!
On Martin! On Pugwash! On Malcolm and Gary!
To the top of the charts! To the Top of the Pops!
Now Runaway! Runaway! Good Lord what chops!

(Editor's note: In the interest of bandwidth reduction,
I'll just tell you that they came inside, performed an
excellent medley from "Octopus", then a 10 minute
version of "Cogs In Cogs", then packed up their
miniature gear, including the coolest little B-3, while
engaging in a 20 minute a capella version of "Knots",
then filled my stocking with Gary's slides. And oh look!
Leslie made cookies!)

They sprang to their jet, gave the pilot a whistle
And away they all flew like an air-to-air missile.
But I heard them exclaim as they flew out of sight
"Gentle Giant to all, and to all a good night!!"

Peace on Earth, and Good Scotch toward Men...